Tuesday 19 August 2014

Semi-Blagging my First Ironman

The gloomy silence at 4.30am in the breakfast lobby of Kalmar’s Stadt Hotel was deafening. Pierced from time to time by the pouring of coffee and scrape of plates, lonely lean muscled men sat, one at each table, in silence, morosely contemplating what they’d got themselves into. Had they trained enough? Would they die today? Would they beat their personal bests? What were they doing it for? There was no laughter as each, one by one got up and made the walk to the starting gates for the city's 2014 Ironman Triathlon event.
 
Nutrition based training should be avoided at all costs if you want to make it a real challenge

Like its sister in insanity, the Marathon de Sables, Ironman has managed to collect together large numbers of divergent people at specific locations (this year 2300 athletes raced Kalmar) in order to make the ‘crazy guy’ of each town feel in some way he’s in fact normal and the rest of the world is mad. Those loners you’d see running at 5am when you roll home from the pub, those freaks who’d pass you, cycling up lonely mountain roads in the pouring rain, or swimming across freezing lochs in March. These are the guys you find, descending here, to engage in what is often the final culmination of their bizarre life cycle – The mighty Ironman Triathlon –A 3.9km open water swim, then a 180km cycle, followed by a 42.2km run (marathon) all in order to find the energy to sprint down that last 500metres, cheered by the crowd and the final blue carpet, and flashing photos, to cross the line and finally, say ‘I am Ironman!’ 

It should be like this but 2 hours earlier and in daylight

Totally ludicrous isn’t it?

I’m not really sure how others trained for this race, but looking at my own average guy physique, I know I didn't do nearly enough. As 6.45am rolled by and we walked, one by one to the starting line, Euro-pop blared out of the speakers and a super-energised German/Swede/Italian kind of guy pumped out energetic verbal diarrhea, to distract us all from the fact we were about to go over the trenches and not all of us would make it. I looked around at the other wetsuit clad madmen. Still no one spoke. A remembered a Japanese word I’d learned. ‘Boketto’ - It means to stare into nothing and empty the mind. I did that, trying to resist the temptation to pee in my wetsuit, and before I knew it id been herded to the start, and into the sea, beginning a 14 odd hour odessey of pain and regret - primarily regret for not learning previous lessons and trying to half-blag, lets face it, one of the hardest races in the world.

I’d learned to swim front crawl 2 months ago, thanks to the Buffalo and Glasgow Tri clubs help, but the effort of that, my incessant travelling and awful diet pushed the bike and run to the back burner, so training in those came between fear of not finishing and cramming a month before the race (with of course the usual ‘if I finish the swim, ill surely finish the race on pure willpower’ lie)

You should probably go quicker than this too

The race itself feels mostly like it was just a long and not very pleasant dream, apart from the swim, which was surprisingly enjoyable. I think I was just happy that I could actually do it without too much effort. I managed to swallow some sea water after getting kicked in the face by someone going round the buoy, but quickly blanked it out of my mind, and got onto the bike not believing my luck of being alive.

My cadence computer didn't work of course (why do things only break when you need them?) but I still held back on the first (102km) loop, thinking that the small issue of the marathon would need a little reserve strength, but as I went over the lovely 6km long Kalmar bridge the rain came pouring down and slowed things a little for the 2nd loop, and my honey/water/electrolyte tablet combo was neither working very well or stopping me tiring. The old lesson of trying out your nutrition before the race is probably correct on reflection, as while my stomach was cramping, my heavy farting luckily wasn't following through (unlike one lovely young lady who my friend passed, who had crapped herself instead of going to the bathroom, thus saving 3 minutes and also leaving a brown lump under her lycra cycle shorts with brown skid-marks running down her legs. Probably German, they’re into that kind of stuff, I hear you think, but my lips are sealed on the nationality this time…)

Sauntering Through the Bike Stage

I must commend the running layout in Kalmar though - basically 3 loops of about 14.5 km, so in your mind you can break it down to 3 shorter runs. The downside of course was that by then my back was aching badly from not getting a proper bike fit before the race (so I was down on my tri-bars for hours in an uncomfortable position) and after 180km, my legs were ready to commit suicide.  With my back out, I seemed to have basically used up my core muscles completely, and so the old chi-running backup was mostly out of the running, so I managed to get into a kind of ‘Ansemo robot’ posture, that didn't take up much energy, and crawled along at what was probably my slowest ever marathon pace. At the beginning of the third lap, I realized there was a guy in front of me walking and my running was so slow that I actually wasn't catching up with him, so I walked with him for ten minutes, until my legs began to seize up. Egged on by the now drunk supporters, it dawned on me that actually I had a lot of energy left after all, and picked up the speed for the last 8km, running through the pain at a decent pace for the rest of the race and realizing as I passed the enormously energizing crowd that I could have really done this for the whole marathon....

Ah well, never mind, despite all the lessons learned about Ironman from actually finishing the race, they were right after all. The last 500 metres where you run through the town lined with crowds who seem to know your name (probably because of the name tag thing) and then the long straight that you sprint up, which seems to last forever towards the grandstand and finally the blue carpet and the finish line, and then to see you beat the time you were aiming for by 5minutes, makes it all worth it, at least once in your short life…



Friday 30 August 2013

Guernsey Granite Man Triathlon Training for Beginners (i.e. Monstrous Cycle routes in and around Glasgow)

It seems like years since I posted here - unfortunately my innate laziness extends to writing as well as training. In 9 days, I'll make a brave attempt at the Guernsey 'Graniteman' triathlon, which is a half ironman distance triathlon (1.9km swim in the sea, 90km bike, and a quick 21km run to finish off)

What a pain in the neck that will be.

Anyway, I must confess, at the beginning of August, the usual fear gripped me when, I realised that, no I couldn't blag this one either. So like a fool I began training, mostly here in Glasgow.

Although diet i'd say is the single most important thing in any long distance training, you have to have some decent places to train. Living in Moldova probably isn't brilliant, for example, if you are keen to cycle 50mile training rides every other day (due to the extreme danger of death and bad roads, more than the drunk taxi drivers you see in Russia) Anyway, in Glasgow I've found a few corkers in terms of long distance cycle paths (which you can of course also run along)

The two routes I've been using are

1. Glasgow to Fenwick - A cheeky wee 40miler, i'd recommend just going back the way you came though rather than whats on the map via Eaglesham, as that road to Eaglesham is downright dangerous - it's single track with bike lanes on each side (which means no cars ever acknowledge the cycle tracks existence, especially when a car is coming the other way.) However, there are some great tracks in the bizzare Whitelee wind farm which is on that road - it's the biggest windfarm in Europe and can be quite fun doing circuits there, with the army of giant windmills making their surreal whoosh and their shadows flitting across your face.

The route from Glasgow to Fenwick has one major drawback though - it's basically uphill all the way from Glasgow - thats about 20miles of uphill, which can be a bit of a ballbreaker. However once your out of Glasgow/Mearns then you have your own personal cycle path all the way. You can go on until Kilmarnock but along regular roads and remember by this time your in deepest Ayrshire with all the attendant inbreeding, so look out for people with six toes or three nipples (I should know.)

2. Glasgow to Balloch This 40 mile roundtrip monster takes you right to the shore of the beautiful Loch Lomond. It's a path pretty much all the way, and isn't quite as tough in the hill scene as no.1 above. You cycle along the canal and the River Leven, so its a beautiful route if its not raining, and even if it is, there's a pub at the end of the journey and a railway station (Balloch) that takes you all the way back to Glasgow Central for under 5 pounds if your too lazy to cycle back again. If you're feeling energetic, you can actually keep on going north, on a great looking track, a flat 17 miles more all the way up to Tarbert (here)  then on from there if you like the scenery.

I've agreed to do an Ironman finally next year, which means I'll be the fool running these routes next summer. If you see me lying on the side of the road with my face deep in cowdung, please take pity and take me to the fish and chip shop...





Friday 28 June 2013

THAT Running Song. Remembering the Marathon Des Sable and the Tunes That Pull You Through...

 I remember clearly, like it was yesterday, the 82km stage in the Marathon De Sables, where for some reason I followed a delirious frenchman a mile and half up a rocky hill in the wrong direction because he'd dropped his water (and if he'd kept going would likely be dead) When I got him he didn't speak english, so i had to pull him in the right direction, and we trotted back to the (by then dark) 'path' and on to the next checkpoint, where I met the two notorious scandos Krister and Jarmo and pushed on into the night....

 As dawn broke the next day and everyone had got lost (because some local kids had stolen the luminous way-markers) I found myself coming through some scrub and finally onto the 20km home stretch. I could see the tents of the end of the stage, shimmering way off in the distance, but after three hours, and as the sun rose and it pushed over a hundred and twenty, it still looked no nearer away and my spirit began to break.

 It's at these times a tune or two comes into your head, and through the tears you begin to sing. So when all seems lost and your out of water and your throat is burning and your blisters are bleeding, and the only sound is the forlorn croak of the vultures, and finally you consider what the newspaper will say about you, when you're found, dying alone with your eyes picked out in middle of the sahara... what do you sing?

'Everything Will Be All Right' by The Killers was the tune that got me through - a nice slow beat to run to, convincing myself that any minute I would be drinking some nice cool pepsi, eating fish and chips and dunking in the pool, but I thought i'd share my top 5 favourite running tunes with you here  that pull me through or speed me up on the very common days when I hit the wall....

1. Mr Brightside - The Killers.  Im not a big Killers fan really, just a few of their songs are standouts, and this is one of them, for running at least. The first riffs are uplifting and keep a fast pace going, and before you know it you're thinking of that hot girl you used to dally with from Uni days...

2. Call of The Cthulu - Metallica.  I like instrumentals like this, the way it kind of forces you on and builds up to a maddening energetic crescendo.

3. Extreme Ways - Moby.  Similar to 1. nice and upbeat and puts you in a good mood. Makes you think you're the guy in Bourne Identity.

4. Ostia - Sepultura. A furious bit of thrash that whips you into shape. Its also all about Dantes Journey in Hell so you'd better get running...

5. Mean Street - Van Halen. Fast pacy rock, with old Dave Lee Roth giving it laldy, you basically can never sleep to this...

There are more of course, but I'm always open to other perfect running tunes if anyone has some good recommendations...










Wednesday 22 August 2012

Hamburgers and Running

It was lovely to get back training after God knows how many months today. Someone the other night mentioned 'lets do an Ironman in 2013' and I still haven't completed one after getting the flu before Ironman Austria, (an Ironman_70.3 doesn't count) so finally I have some kind of goal.

I know it's only a marathon in the running part (rather than an Ultra) but the good thing about Ironman, and Triathlon in general is that it's a more balanced race. Rather than being a skinny whippet of an Ultra - man, with otherworldly stamina - in an Ironman since you also have to swim 3.86km as well as cycle a little bit (180.25km), you tend to 'bulk up' a bit and look like a balanced person, albeit with a crazed look in your eye (and quite possibly a silly ironman tattoo)

Why there are no fat people in Hamburg

My training epiphany happened in lovely Hamburg. They are lucky enough to have a big lake at the edge of the city centre which, according to my nike ipod is exactly 10km round, and as usual Metallica whipped me round in a (for an out of shape me) astonishing 47mins. I must confess though, Hamburg has more than it's fair share of pretty girls, and of course runner girls are the cream of the crop, so, as most guys do (don't deny it!) speed up when there are hotties nearby, therein lies the explanation. But its a nice speed to keep beating, now i'm back started training. 

Anyway... A little bit about the running track round Hamburg lake.

1. Parking - there's plenty parking all round the lake, but especially on the west side, where the centre is. Its about 1 euro an hour before 6pm and free after that.

2. The track - the track is soft gravel/earth, although there is a paved portion and pavement if you want it. A section at the top, you have to go round the streets for about 750m, as the houses go straight onto the lake. But there are so many runners you'll see where to go (use your common sense!)

3. Supplies - the lake is surrounded by little cafes so you can use their toilets and fill up afterwards. You'd best to buy your other things elsewhere though- depends how many circuits you intend to do (the man runs once in a year and he's already talking about circuits?!!!)

Sorry, there is no connection here at all with hamburgers, except that i'm sitting writing this in Macdonalds (thankyou Hamburg, for having no internet anywhere else, least of all my hotel)

Happy running guys! 

Tuesday 25 October 2011

Please, lets keep the lights off this time...

Ok, its not quite come to that, but....after 5 months of couch potato life, I realised that if I keep this up not doing an ounce of sport, that day of being so fat WILL finally come.

So finally, tonight, I decided to slowly get back on that Ultra-marathon saddle, and it feels great !

Pizzas, chinese, fish and chips, Indian, you name it (especially pot Noodles) I think i can wangle keeping this up, but maybe throw in a few nuts, some spinach, bananas and blueberry's and raw carrots here and there. At least they taste good too. 
Glencoe - West Highland way - A Perfect Place to break an ankle in minus 6 degrees
The main aim is to, in 2 years run the Idatarod Invitational, and be the first Scot to do so. But since tonight i was wheezing round 5km, there's a long road ahead. It'll hopefully end up with the 'training run' of Susitna 100 race in February, a 100miler in Alaska which you can also bike or ski (if you are metrosexual, that is)

First thing, and anyone in the neighbourhood is welcome to join me, is a little bit of winter running - on the 100mile West Highland Way. Wait a few weeks though, I need to buy some cold weather equipment and so on, and get to some semblance of fitness. But the idea of trying to run it in 3 days, sleeping rough, and living on lovely pot noodles and mars bars - just to imagine the beautiful feeling of solitude halfway up a soaking blizzardy mountain in the middle of nowhere in December, with only....em...sheep for company...ok ok i'm no salesman, but at least i'll be free of the incessant white noise of FArsebook or email or telephone for 3 days (or more probably 5, plus the time in hospital)




Wednesday 13 April 2011

Marathon Des Sables Diary, Stage 1

Ok so i bizzarely completed the 26th Marathon Des Sable 2011. I really can't explain how, but i wrote a little diary on the subject. You can read the first part on the link below.....

http://alanstraveladventures.blogspot.com/2011/04/marathon-des-sables-diary-stage-1.html

Monday 28 March 2011

Final preparation for Marathon Des Sables (involving mostly Wine and Doughnuts)

Well as im sitting here on the train to Tartu, drinking coffee with white sugar and eating a lovely jam doughnut, im beginning to wonder what i should actually be doing the week before a big race.

Its almost impossible to conceptualise what a desert ultramarathon will be like from here in the frozen north, with a temperature change of 50 degrees, a heart attack is definately in the running. I'll feel pretty stupid if that happens.

However, although I was quite chuffed with my ability in the cold weather, after a month in the hot - I feel im cheating by running in the indoor track- I did a little fast half marathon on Sunday, in 1 hr 30, with no backpack, indoors to ensure technique was still there (well...kind of) but this kind of temperate enviroment is so far removed from the hot and dry and mountainous desert, which drains every inch of your energy - there are so many uncertainties regarding what kind of time i should be aiming for, i dont think theres anything i can do to know that right now except estimate...at the moment my experience is

Cool Weather Marathon, no backpack, flat ground - 3.5- 4hrs
Hot weather Marathon, no backpack, flat ground - 4 -4.5hrs
Hot weather Marathon, full backpack, bad terrain and up and down steep hills - 6- 7 hrs

So im reading books that say the average pace for Marathon de Sable is 4miles an hour, or 6.5hrs for a marathon. Which is basically, like the 3rd above- walking, which means im at about average pace for the race right now (disapointing, bearing in mind ive been thinking about training for 6 months now) Ok i understand steep hills (like my last big run in the back of Jaco) its physically impossible to run up and down, but surely the whole distance isnt like that? While i cant see myself briskly sprinting up 1000m sand dunes in 45degree heat for 20miles, im sure the terrain is mixedso i hope to get that up to at least 5-6km an hour.

So all i can do now is avoid getting sick or injured (i have a niggling ant bite on my ankle which has opened up, so ill try to see a chiropractor today) and well...apart from that ill just drink and wait. Probably i shouldnt really drink, but im sticking just to wine. And i am in Estonia after all (which still has 2 metres of snow AND IS STILL SNOWING)

Seriously though. This week, my training will consist of i think one long walk in the snow, with a pack on. Possibly drunk but its no matter. I need to read up on Chi-Walking and i really should look at my diet and buy a ground mat so i dont freeze at night. Theres no amount of Yoga that can put off my impending and inadequetly trained for doom now. It kind of serves me right really for getting into such stupid things - why didnt I stick to something safe like Muy Thai?

I'll write a diary on the race and put it in here afterwards. Seriously,  i hope that it doesnt get embarrassing or involve any airlifts or other pansy style cop-outs. Or my leg being amputated. I can promise you that there will be moments when ill lull between conciousness and semi-conciousness, but i will try to stay alive the whole way. I have some really good power songs in my i-pod. From what i read, the real enemy is nutrition and keeping hydrated and salted up throughout the time, as all your sodium sweats out constantly. So basically drinking wine as training is ok. Well done Alan, by writing about it your almost there...

Au Revoir and wish me luck!

ps I'd like to thank Nick Constantine of Soul in Motion for his support and help in my Chi-Running. If anyone is in Scotland/North of England and wants to change their whole running technique, his website is here